HANG TUAH AND HIS TAMINGSARI

I always love that legend about our great worrior who fights for the king and his kingdom. He sounds extremely strong, good looking, gentleman and perhaps a bit of a player but who wouldnt right? he is a fuckin worrior for god sake. I am very lucky to happen to have a my very own Hang Tuah version of modern days. It was 13 feb and it was my highschool reunion. He was my highschool sweetheart and the last time we saw each other was 13 years ago. All and all sounds very romantic. I was having butterflies thinking about meeting him again after all that years. I remember when we were dating, he took me on his motorcycle to the padi field. We sat under the tree and the wind blowing breezely. He has my small hand on his big palm while i rested on his hunky chest. He touched my cheek and told me that I have a very beautiful skin. I was told a lot back then that i do ahve a very soft skin and feels like a baby bum. Well, not anymore. fuck Aging!
He was definitely one of the hottest guy in school. That's because he looke exactly like Shah Rukh Khan. He likes bollywood too. Thank god this was back in high school otherwise i have to shoot myself for dating a guy who likes to watch bollywood.
When we finally meet again, I really feels butterflies all over me. He doesnt aged at all. Just as handsome as before. He's very gentlemen just like a great malay worrior, Hang Tuah. All i can think off is to get him to my room and get all these butterflies away from my pussy. We were so innocent in school that we never even kissed. I hope he is not shy or something. I cant wait to get through dinner and bring him back to my room and have him all to myself.
Oh Lord, I witness the greatness of hang Tuah and his tamingsari that night. The only proper word to describe him is 'gagah perkasa'! It was undeniably one of the best sex i've ever had in my life. He gave me multipe 'multiple orgasm', multiple of times. Too bad, I found out later from a friend that hang Tuah is engaged to be married soon. I would've keep using him as my sex toy but i think i juts like him too much to do that. That bitch is a very lucky girl. Hang Tuah is happily married now with 2 kids and I just live happily ever after.

MR BEAN

Not sure if my observation is correct but I kept meeting 'Mr Minute Guy' or 'Mr Shortcoming' or even worse 'Mr French Fries". Wonder why I dont date em so much....please I am not a racist. Again it's my observation in my short years of dating life. They are either too short, too skinny, too small or cant even get it up at all. It does cost me a minor self esteem issue as i'm thinking in my head i must be really ugly that i dont even turn em on. I mean if my naked body cant get their dick harden, what else am i suppose to think right? Not that I have problem with every other race though :p
There this one guy who was after me. he was super sweet and nice and very attentive towards me. He comes over to my place a lot to just hang out and do usual domestic stuff which is cool you know. But after a while, it starting to get to me that he doesnt try at all to get into my pants. I'm like what is wrong with this dude? This scenoria is unlikely to happen. They all wanna get into your pants right, girls?
Fortunately soon enough, i found out that his dick is like Chow's dick in hangover 2. It's so small you can barely see it. My spontaneous reaction was " What the fuck is this?" I felt bad off course but it juts blurted out of my mouth. My mean fucking mouth. I know i should've been more polite and say something like this " Oh my God! that's the cutest thing i've ever seen" but it didnt ok. He is scared for life of my comment and He never spoke to me again. I wish he will find in his heart one day to forgive me but there is no way i will continue dating "MR BEAN".

IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE(WHO WAS I KIDDING?) THANK GOD IT'S OVER NOW!

Ahhh just my luck! My Mr Right turned out to be Mr Soooo Wrong! Apprently Mr Not So Right has an intense self insecure issue that the only way to save him is to turn back time and let his parents raise him differently using a totally different method all together. He is so fucked up in the head. May Lord have mercy on him and save his soul.
I was in Australia while he is back in his country doing his boring day job being a  banker. I mean he said he hates his job and he is a banker so Im not implying it any other way. I am traveling so off course I'll be out having fun doing fun stuff most of the time and as usual try to live my life to the fullest. As much as he thinks he can handle it but he cant. He was misserable knowing that im out dancing and drinking at the clubs getting all the attention from all those hot australian boys. I guess I cant blame him. Writing this down made me realise that I might be too hard on him. Anyone would be insecure and have the same problem.
This is nothing compare to my normal life back home. I have plenty more guy friends whom i love to hang out with. Not to mention, Fbs, X-fling and one night standers that i am still keeping in touch. If he cant handle my worst, how is he going to appreciate my best. I may sound mean but look, we all are grown ups and not in our 20s anymore. There is a level of maturity expected here. I understand your insecurity but I count on you to handle it manly not like texting me at 3am in the morning telling me that you're crying over a text message that i didnt send an hour ago and ask me for a break up in the morning and then regret it in the afternoon. Telling me that i should fight for it. Look who's wearing the pantese here. I'm so not gonna fight for a woos. Na a buddy.
I wonder if i had damaged his brain when i farted in Ang Ko Wat. I wonder If I had caused him being a retard. I knew i shouldn't have had banana pancake and coffee for breakfast that morning. How am i suppose to know Ang Kor fuckin What? doesnt have a public toilet. I was having a grumppy tummy all morning, the anticipation of finishing all the temples was unbearable and he decided to carry me over his shoulder. It would've been romantic if i didnt have a feeling as if a giant volcano is ready to erupt out of my shithole and there...the volcano erupted next to his head. Loud and clear! I was dying of embarassment and screaming for him to put me down. With my hands over my face i said, "please leave me alone and continue this travel by yourself". He peels my two palms away from my face and said the sweetest thing " Dont be shy. i love you even more now, at least i know you're human". I guess now that i am an angel who farts, i can move on with my life.
Too bad that "Ang Kor Wat fart" had damaged his brain and cost him to be a retard, we are no longer together. I wish him all the best in his future and hopefully some day he will grow up or at least found someone who likes to nanny a retard.