For all the rejections, for all that I have rejected, skeptical in an understatement. I'm told that I'm picky, why the hell should I not? I am a woman who knows what I want and always go for it. If I'm a man, I'd say I've got some balls so who do i WANT? DEFINITELY GUYS WITH SOME BALLZ.....
As tough as it is to find date in this lonely city, I thought I found one...a nice one I would say. Enough dating some bad boys so I thought maybe it is good to change my rythm once in a while. Hey, it's not like there's a lot of fishes in the sea anyway so what the hell. We kinda bumped into each other a couple of times lately that made us notice our presence. Enough to initiate interest. One night after a couple of shots, while walking to the parking lot to get my car, he called my name. I swear i can't remember his name. Im just not good in remembering names anyway. So I was like "Hey hi , Where are heading to?" "Home" he answered. " No you're not! You're coming with me"......(see what I mean when I say I got ballz?
Perhaps he was drunk but I totally don't think so. He held my hands like I'm his. Like we've been seeing each other and feels like he really likes me. He hugs me and hold me owh so tightly. It felt really nice to be in someone's arms like that. The feeling that I've been missing so much. But nothing more than that, there's no sign that he is rushing to get into my 2 inches too short skirt or anything like that. That's how I know he is a nice guy. Me "the not so nice girl" decided to send him home hoping he would invite me for late night coffee if you know what I mean. But no, Mr Good Guy is definitely score that night. I respect him for not being as horny as I am. But I still did one tiny little naughty thing. I kissed him good night on the lips. Like I literally pulled him and kissed him but the moment I drove off I felt so embarrased by my behavior. I was like " Damn you horny woman, you failed misserably and you never gonna get him to ask you for a date.....EVER!" Fuck fuck fuck I screw it!
Do you know how it feels to wait for a call like this. It's freakin exhausting I tell yah....but finally after way too many hours of waiting, he finally texted me and ask me out for dinner. I did picked a fancy place but my good lord I only ordered appetizers and a glass of wine. I've always split the bill but I was scolded many times not to do that, esspecially on the first date which i agree. What happen to old school romance that if we be the ladies and guys should be the gentleman. I obviously more than capable to pay for my own bill so it's definitely not a matter of trying to take advantage of anyone. I call for the bill and the bill came. He just let the bill sit on the table without even looking at it and we kept talking. Everybody was leaving the restaurant and the staff are slowly packing up. I just cant wait any longer decided to just take the bill and open it and let Mr Good Guy read the bill. He just put a hundred dollar and pass the bill to me so I guess I have to top up the rest? Hmmmmm okay draw number 1.
Draw Number 2, We went out again and he finally invited me over for a splift or two. Mr Good Guy apparently has a problem getting it up if you know what I mean. I'm like "What? Am I not sexy enough? " What the fuck is fucking wrong?...errgghhhhhh.....So I though to myself....am I one of those 'hard to please' kinda woman? So I gulp these all in an said to myself " He is one of those good guy, remember bitch" So he is shy....and I was like "Awwwhhhh poor baby, perhaps I made him nervous"
Not very much calls or text later....I've invited him to be my plus one to a fancy birthday party while I was having my holiday in India. The party is the weekend when I'm back. So he said "Yes, I would love to" and I thought this would be a great oppurtunity to see how he can blend in with my fabulous world and my fabulous friends. When I came back I texted him, just to check if he stills up for it and he said yes off course. He ask me if he could come and stay with me? I thought that was sweet. He must be missing me then but only later I think he is prepping himself for you know what. I unfortunately not feeling it. :(
The next day was a holiday but not only I had to work in the morning, I also had to cook lasagna for my little luncheon with my friends. Since he stayed over, I asked him to join us if he has no plans. By this time, I realised it's not my thing to date Mr Good Guy. I'm always on the fast lane and he is too slow for me. You throw me in any kinda crowd, I'll blend in like a fucking gell right away and so as my friends. We are people people, you know what I mean so I can't take it if people do not know how to open up their mouth and minggle. I can't babysit no one. I like em when they are independently can take care of themself in any kinda situation. He was quite in the car, over at the lunch and even afterwards over coffee and window shopping with my friends. He obviously didn't try to be intimate with me like try to hold my hands or something like that. Again I thought he is shy but wait a minute, what happen to the intimacy of that first night we met? when he held me owh so closely and held my hand tight when we're walking together? He wasn't drunk so what the fuck happen? he is no longer interested in me? then why wanna come and see me and spend the day with me? I'm confused.
That very day, I felt like bringing him to that fancy dinner party is going to be a bad idea but hell...let's give him one more chance. Again he cant catch up with my phase. The whole night we didn't have any single conversation. I was bored to death that I was just gonna kill myself and Mr Good Guy again was not gentleman enough to pick up my bill so whatever! but at this moment I knew that I can't be bothered to ever see him again. I want someone to make me feel alive and want to laugh all the time. I can't be the one who initiate the conversation over and over again. It's tyring and I know now I would never date anyone that I cant have decent conversation with.
Having everybody else to tell me how nice I look that night instead of him is just driving me off him like totally. Someone else fortunately was admiring how I look that night and very interested to buy me a drink instead of him and have a conversation with me unlike him. I was like "fuck this guy, I'm going to take this invitation" and thank God I did. Finally i feel so alive that evening having someone that compliment me the whole night, knowing the right thing to say and making me laugh throughout. Thank you GOD! cause I was literally dying over there. So Mr Good Guy was left alone and had to watch me flirting with somebody else.
If I'm a BITCH,.....let it fucking be!
