Puis-je avoir des relations sexuelles avec vous ce soir?

So, what do you do after being broken hearted? I have an old special remedy that I thought myself. This remedy is definitely not applicable to anyone who delusionally thinks that virginity is a virtue but for someone like me I think it's one of the best way to move on as quickly as possible. I mean I have 7 years to catch up, haven't I? So the best thing to do after a break up, is to definitely get LAID baby!!! yeehaaa....honey..am telling you it works...maybe temporarily but hey better than nothing right?

I guess things do happen for a reason and I was working in Borneo at the time. I was in charge of the operations of the company and I was tasked to visit all the offices around the state. I was very lucky, as I've mentioned earlier, things happen for a reason. The last office that I had to visit is just an hour away from the most remarkable place on earth, the island where 'IT' happens...all the time :). The one and only Sipadan Island. Just so happened, it falls on the weeked. I took the oppurtunity to swing by and spend my weekend there before get back to work on Monday.

While I was waiting for my bus, I secretly wish "My dear Lord. let there by some white guys or any hot male be heading there too my lord, am begging you". And there they were, my wish....granted! 2 white boys and one very sexy looking asian guy came down from the bus. I was screaming and jumping and the station saying yeeahhh baby....you, and you and you are mine!!! Off course that was only happen in my head. I kept myself cool, calm and collected. Jump in the bus and just smile all the way there....

Once we arrived at the location, we smile and said hello to each other. I asked them if they are heading to the same place and YES YES YES..they are. All of a sudden I have a tingling sensation. Cool Kitty cool... I suggested that we should share a cab as they are four of us and obvilously I dont wanna loose sight of them. As if that was not assuring enough, I suggested we should share rooms so it's cheaper. Smart ey? Off course they said yes. Owh, forgive me for not introducing. They are 21 years old and they are French! Bonjour Monsieur! But the Asian looking one is apparently is French Vietnamese from Mont Blanc and my eyes can't stop staring at him. Unfortunately his english is not so good. Ahh just speak french baby..it is so much sexier...

Cut the story short, we all had dinner and some rum and everybody gathers and we 're all were having so much fun. Someone was playing the drum, someone else was playing guitar and everybody was singing next to the beautiful ocean view. I felt in love, I was totally in love with the Island. I can't even describe the feeling cause it was too magical. Not sure whether it was the rum or the beautiful view, I skoot my seat closer next to Mr French vietnamese. That brown skin, I just want to fuckin bite it but again, I kept myself cool. I give him a peck just below his shoulder. Just a teaser so he could feel my lips againts his skin. He took his hand slowly and rest it around me. I gently rest my head on his chest. That chest..demmit..I just want to bite it. We didn't really wait much longer, he lifted my chin and we just started kissing. french vietnamese kiss. In front of all the spectators that were dancing and singing and playing music, there we were...kissing passionately. It was almost like in the movie when everything so chaos around you started to go slow motion.

I obviously can't go details on what happen next but enough said that everybody that sleeps on that chalet that night must have had a "rocky" nightmare. :)

It Fucking Ended!

The percentage in surviving a long distance relationship is known to be very very low. But more than that, it came to my senses that this whole picture is freakin wrong. You can't force anyone to like you let alone to love you. I know for fact that he loves me and for the love of God I love him too. Too much even but that does not make forcing him to marry me is a right thing to do. Nonetheless, breaking up with someone you love and you live with for 7 years is never easy especially when you never love someone else this much before. Maybe it works for some people but if I had to give the man that supposedly in love with me a fuckin deadline..it's fuckin over...well at least for me it is.

I remember coming back to our place to pick up all my stuff after the break up. Thank God he wasn't there cause I was litterally falling apart. All my things are packed nicely and put aside. It was a couple of weeks after christmas. There they were all the christmas gift from his parents and his aunties. I've never felt so welcome whenever I'm with his family. They treat me like I'm part of them. Staring at all those gifts, suddenly a flashback of all the good times we had together. Every Christmas , every new year, the sundays when his mom will cook for us. Writing this paraghaph apparently is not that easy for me even after all these years. Flashback after flashback coming through my mind. I'm breaking down but that day, that day I can never forget how bad I cried. I broke down so hard that I was out of breath. I was suffocated for screaming so much. It was like death. No wonder people called it broken hearted. My heart felt like it was pulled out of my chest, torn apart and smashed to the ground into pieces like a piece of glass.

I tried to calm down, take a deep breath and pull myself together. I dialled for his mom so I could say thank you for all the gifts but the moment I heard her sweet caring beautiful voice, I broke down again. In all those years we were together, as long as she has known me I have never shed a tears, now I cried like a freakin baby over the phone talking to her. I just kept crying that I can't even say thank you. She was calming me down. She is surprised that it is over. His parents used to tell me that religion is not an issue. They accepted that we come from a different believes. How could I not love them. I finally put down the phone. I am glad that somehow in all the crying I managed to tell her that I love her so much.

I called my bestfriend to come and pick me. I can't be there any longer. It was too painful. I never thought I could love anyone this much but I did. It was torcherous that it didn't work out but I'm thankful and honoured that I had that chance to be in love, to know and to feel what love means. Because of this, I know what love is.

The Perfect beginning!

It begins with " You're so pretty, can I call you?".....it never ends....

That was supposedly to be printed on our wedding invitation card,it was simple but classy. White card with black font and red ribbon across it. The banner, it was a picture of us photographed from his back with his shirt off and just wearing a white linen pants carrying me over his strong arms, with me wearing my tube white chiffon long dress, by the beach under the beautiful sunset. I am hugging his shoulder with my eyes closed and he is looking at me dearly. The same goes to the cover of the wedding album, the wedding soundtrack  that features 10 of our favorite love songs with a little 'Thank You' card attached to it. That's the doorgift for all our beloved guest whose intived to celebrate our holy fuckin matrimony. To witness and to be inspired by love, to convert the non believer that true love does exist. A perfect garden wedding at the Equestrian Club with skylight tent so we could dine under the stars. Giant cinema screen so we could showcase our romantic love story. Talk about Bridezilla, I could have won a fuckin Oscar! Perfect wedding dress, perfect wedding cake, perfect location, perfect date and PERFECT FUCKIN GROOM!

Well, that was four years ago......